Comments on: Why do grandparents think they’re better at raising your kids?

By: Bo's girl

Bo's girl — Sat, 13 Oct 2007 03:42:31 +0000

The grandparents always think they know everything. But she is your baby and you will do what comes naturally to you. Yes I have this on both sides of my family. Granted I do take there advise at times, because they have raised children. I don’t think they are trying to make you feel bad, they just don’t think before speaking.

By: Doodlestuff

Doodlestuff — Thu, 11 Oct 2007 05:38:15 +0000

Several reasons, but keep in mind that children act differently with different people. Also, grandparents are less fussy about what a baby does and apt not to notice things that a new parent would.

By: twinmom

twinmom — Wed, 10 Oct 2007 23:19:04 +0000

Someone can have more experience than you while having a completely different approach that you don’t agree with (case in point, my mother in law). I’ve learned it’s best to just ignore as much negative commentary as you can. As a mother, you have to have a thick skin. It won’t do your child any good if you’re upset. So, it’s best to just smile politely and let what you don’t like roll off your back. Save your defenses for the big stuff, like when your mother in law won’t put on her seat belt in the car with the babies (like mine).

By: la vie boheme

la vie boheme — Mon, 08 Oct 2007 16:45:55 +0000

they think experience= better.
Also, as the times change so do family values and parenting styles. Your inlaws may think you are doing something wrong. because your 2000′s style is different fro their 60′s or 70′s style.

By: beach mama

beach mama — Mon, 08 Oct 2007 16:42:40 +0000

My Mum does that to me ALL the time. She acts like I’m accusing her without saying a word. I just want to tell her to stop. It drives me crazy. I think it’s kinda funny how my 9 yr old can spend 3 weeks with my Mum and she comes home with no manners and mouthy. Go figure.

By: Mz.Beautiful

Mz.Beautiful — Sun, 07 Oct 2007 18:21:34 +0000

You have to stop it before its too late grandparents dont dicipline and by the time you try to dicipline theres gonna be a problem so tell your in-laws you know how to raise your own.

By: Trish

Trish — Thu, 04 Oct 2007 14:30:28 +0000

They are just being ignorant, ignore it. It’s probably their way of saying “we have a really great grandchild, she’s perfect for us!” and bragging. They do not remember how hard motherhood and fatherhood was and do not realize you are taking offense. Just take it as they are bragging on her and let it go.

By: spunkymom

spunkymom — Tue, 02 Oct 2007 02:32:32 +0000

Girl, I know what you mean. My monster inlaw did the exact same thing. I just ignored mine when she’d say stuff like that. I guess they just believe that they know more, which could be true, but the way they go about it is very insulting.

Hang in there!

By: lady bug

lady bug — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 22:57:32 +0000

It is always easy to judge from the outside… it isn’t just grandparents. Don’t listen to the “she doesn’t do that when she’s with us” crap… if they give you useful advice, take it.. if they are just criticizing you (even if by accident ignore them or ask them for further explanation).

By: mystic_eye_cda

mystic_eye_cda — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 11:12:42 +0000

My mother in her “infinite” wisdom just told me that I need to be “more proactive” with my son who is 17 months so that it will be easier when the baby comes (I’m 5 months pregnant).

And she is ALWAYS telling me that my son is “hard to handle” etc. Oh and she has a room at her place for him because when I have other kids I will be glad to get rid of him from time to time because of his behaviour.

Ok sure my son never, ever sits still and even other parents find his level of energy insane. And sure given half a chance he will take anything apart into more pieces than I knew it had (humidifier, highchar -aren’t those childproof?, etc). And yes he is 17 months old and can get out of his crib, out of his playpen, and open doors (and escaped out of my friends front door *sigh*).

But none of these behaviours are “bad” and what really gets me is that she is telling me to be stricter (holding hands was an example) when she never ONCE in my entire life followed through with a threat!

And then she goes on to admit that my son takes gentle guidance better than outright “no”.

Ugh and don’t even get me started about my IN LAWS!

Umm anyway I guess I don’t have an answer to your question. I honestly doubt they are doing it to make you feel bad, but then again *some* in-laws. If you can let it go and not let it bother you that would probably be best; save the fight for when it is something actually worth getting upset over…. otherwise get hubby to talk to his parents about it.

Good luck!