LittleMermaid asked:
Putting aside issues of neglect, such as not feeding your kid, leaving them unsupervised, not providing clean clothes; or sexual, physical, or emotional abuse. Just because another parent doesn’t do things the way that you would, do you think it is your right to tell them they are raising their kids wrong? There are many controversial subjects discused on here, many times people are seeking honest advice, other times they either want to know others opinions or they want people to back up their own beliefs. I see alot of parents being put down, insulted, told they are not a good parent and that they are raising their kids wrong, by people who don’t happen to raise their kids that way. Honestly, if there is no “perfect parent”, then what makes a parent think they are an expert, and that their way is the only right way. I just think that just because another parent doesn’t do thinks your way, it doesn’t mean you have the right to tell them they are raising their kids wrong? Comments?
Using the word that an answer gave, how does a parent know that it is another parent who is “Slacking” and not them? Perhaps they do things with their kids that others don’t agree with. If the shoe were on the other foot, these parents wouldn’t like others to tell them that they are raising their kids wrong, but they think it is alright to tell other parents that they are doing it wrong. Who is to say what the RIGHT way to parent is?
Spanking: RIGHT or WRONG?
Working moms: RIGHT or WRONG?
Beauty pageants: RIGHT or WRONG?
Bottlefeeding: RIGHT or WRONG?
Teaching religion: RIGHT or WRONG?
Putting aside issues of neglect, such as not feeding your kid, leaving them unsupervised, not providing clean clothes; or sexual, physical, or emotional abuse. Just because another parent doesn’t do things the way that you would, do you think it is your right to tell them they are raising their kids wrong? There are many controversial subjects discused on here, many times people are seeking honest advice, other times they either want to know others opinions or they want people to back up their own beliefs. I see alot of parents being put down, insulted, told they are not a good parent and that they are raising their kids wrong, by people who don’t happen to raise their kids that way. Honestly, if there is no “perfect parent”, then what makes a parent think they are an expert, and that their way is the only right way. I just think that just because another parent doesn’t do thinks your way, it doesn’t mean you have the right to tell them they are raising their kids wrong? Comments?
Using the word that an answer gave, how does a parent know that it is another parent who is “Slacking” and not them? Perhaps they do things with their kids that others don’t agree with. If the shoe were on the other foot, these parents wouldn’t like others to tell them that they are raising their kids wrong, but they think it is alright to tell other parents that they are doing it wrong. Who is to say what the RIGHT way to parent is?
Spanking: RIGHT or WRONG?
Working moms: RIGHT or WRONG?
Beauty pageants: RIGHT or WRONG?
Bottlefeeding: RIGHT or WRONG?
Teaching religion: RIGHT or WRONG?
If we are all simply parents, who have learned what works for our own families, who are we to tell another mom that they are doing it wrong? Who is to say our way of doing something isn’t the WRONG way? Fact is none of us are experts, none of us live other parents lives, therefore why does any parent think they know more than any other parent?
Carmen
{ 23 comments }
Of course not! Everyone has different beliefs, ideals, etc. and just because they don’t jive with your own doesn’t mean they’re “wrong.”
If someone posts a question, they are open game.
Next question.
HELL NO! You raise YOUR kid the way you want! Its YOUR kid not Theres, if they want to put there input then let them, but id completely ignore them because Its YOUR kid..
most definetly.
its not right. Every parent has different beliefs. Different ways they were raised. You may not agree with a way someone is raising their kids but its them raising them. No one else. I can’t stand it when my sister and her fiance try and say im spoiling my kid and doing things wrong. They dont have kids for 1 and for 2, the only person watching my kids are me and my husband. So I will do what I want. So , I think its wrong if people try and tell others how to raise their kids.
I agree. Moms are the worst at it. I think its because we feel so strongly about how we do the most important job we’ll ever have that some mom’s cant believe that there may be another way that is just as good as there’s. I always say: If you put 50 adults (25 girls / 25 men) in a room you would never be able to disearn between the ones that were breastfed or bottlefed or the ones with a stay at home mom or a mom that worked, which ones that were ******* and which ones were sent to time out – which are three of the most debated subjects on parenthood. Its sad that as women and mothers, we can’t just support other moms in the chooses they make, instead some have to preach that their way is the only way. It gets old after a while.
I just read the answer below me and I had to chuckle. I feel the same way about my daughter. I usually tell my daughter: she can dish up her plate but she has to try everything – she doesnt have to eat everything though. If she is full, than she is full. My mother in law is always saying she has to eat everything on her plate.. So the last time we ate over there my mmother in law couldnt eat all teh food she dished up so my daughter asked her: Why is it that I’m forced to eat all my food and you dont have to? My husband and I had to leave the table before we started laughing.
i agree with you all the way, for insists, when i was younger i was forced to eat something i didnt like, it toke me almost a week to eat it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, so now that i have my ownchild i dont force him to eat, if he eats more veggies and wants more i give it, i encourage everything else but he has never really liked meat, but alot of people try to tell him that he cant have this till he eats or he cant leave the table or just tells me to enforce eating habits. i dont think so
All parents views are different.Everyone was raised differently and everyone wants different things than the next for their children.That’s what makes everyone unique:)So to answer your question.No one has the right to judge any ones parenting unless like you said there is abuse or neglect involved.
Well, yeah a person has the right to do this. But people in such a situation need to stop and think first-is what the other parent is doing actually harmful to the child? Or is it just a non harmful parenting issue that you are concerned about. In other words, if the parents are drinking all the time in front of the kids then yeah you should speak up. But if its something where they let the kid stay up very late-well thats really not nothing to break up a friendship over.
I agree that aside from child welfare issues the way you choose to raise your kids is up to you.
I get irritated when I see questions from moms telling a bunch of strangers that their sister in law or friend is a bad mom because they do this and that. And then they ask, “What do you think?” How would they feel if that sister in law or friend did the same to them?
There are also the moms that ask a legitimate question and get bombarded by others with negative comments.
I think the key is, anytime you come here and ask, “What do you think?” you have to be prepared for others to actually respond with what they think. Not everyone will ever agree with you 100% of the time. If you only want people to agree with you, you should probably phrase the question, “What do you think, but please only respond if you agree with me.”
And really, if you think it is ugly here, go visit the Politics or Religion sections. The posters here are angelic compared to there.
The short answer is “yes,” other parents do have a right to tell other parents when they are slacking.
Whether or not you listen to them is up to you though.
If there is truth in what they are saying, then have the guts and intelligence to accept it. The fact is that there are a lot of people who think that they are good parents who are actually not. No individual is an island afterall.
no as much as you want to tell them it’s kind of rude to tell people that there raising there children wrong.put it this way would you like people telling you how to raise your children
No, you should tell other people how to raise their children, just as you probably would want anyone telling you how to raise your childrens. You can give them advice, I’ll take advice anytime.
Putting abuse and neglect aside, I don’t think any of the other things matter as long as you parent with love, consistency in discipline no matter what method you use, if you make your decisions out of love and true caring for your child’s well being I have issues that i believe in strongly but i do not judge others for disagreeing with me, and don’t think in the whole scheme of things that most issues matter, as long as your motivation is love for your child, also there isn’t a wrong or right way only different ways, again a good parent is one who loves there child no more no less, a good parent is open to learn and hear others opinion, and not afraid to change there minds if it’s in there child’s best interest, I wish people had been kinder to me when i had my first, but i can handle opinions from others now, i enjoy hearing what they have to say, but the majority of people judging parents are people with no children at all
the answer is rather simple , no. other than that your thinking about this way too much.
We all learn to parent from our own parents. We learn what worked with us and what didn’t and we apply that to our own lives with our own children.
No parent has any right to judge another parent on any grounds. I’ve said it many times and I will say it again, someone already has that job and I sure as heck am glad it ain’t me. I may not agree with the way other people parent their kids but it is their life.
I try my best to provide information on here, I try to give suggestions about what has worked for me. I don’t ever try to pass judgment on another person. When it comes to spanking, that is a delicate issue with me because many people spout off old and outdated psychological studies that have all been proven wrong very recently. I don’t judge them, I simply try to educate them if they ask.
You are right, there is NO perfect parent other than our Father who art in Heaven. I have been judged many times on how I raise my children, the types of movies I let them watch, the music I let them listen to, and I have been called an unGodly woman for it all many times. Only He can judge me and only He can judge others.
There are good parents and there are bad ones but who is to say who is good and who is bad, no person has a right to tell another how to raise their children. The first parent or otherwise who would tell me how to raise my kids would find themselves facing my wrath and I assure you this won’t be pretty.
everybody has the right to say what they like ,it doesn’t mean they have to say it though , we recently moved and my new neighbors are what you might call the “wrong way parents ” but we would never tell them to their face and i would not leave my kids with them , when my kids want to play with there kids i make time so i can supervise ,for example my kids 8 and 2 are not allowed to play with knives (real knives not plastic sharp too ) climb on the roof of my car , jump on the beds ,let me correct that DIVE off bed on to a pile of clothes thats on the hard wood floor ,neither can they climb on the stove or sit on the stove ,light fires in buckets , etc i think your getting my point but my neighbors kids 3 and 5 can, even my 8 year old son is shocked at the stuff their allowed to do, but it’s not my place to say there wrong , my neighbors are nice people it’s a nice neighbor hood there kids are just allowed the freedom to do as they please when they please and how they please to each his own but i sure wouldn’t leave my kids with them for a night out or something (which they have offered but we have declined) i also don’t think i am perfect no parent is but i am doing a good job and as for experience i was a child social worker (investigator) for 11 years and worked in behaviorial foster care for 6 years so i do have a little additional experience under my belt also i am older which i think helps with being more to content to being home and embracing a family atmosphere
I think that it’s ok to give advice or take advice but i do not think its ever ok to tell another parent that they are doing a horrible job ect!!!! I believe a person SHOULD step in and say something when abuse ect are involved tho you said aside all that… I get older women who tell me all the wrongs i’m doing but i never hear any rights LOL I think i’m doing an ok job… but hey ya never know right..
Spanking: Wrong… only because 90% of people do it out of anger… and i don’t htink you teach your child not to hit n all by hitting them.
Working moms: RIGHT it’s a mom’s choice.. it stinks when they don’t have a choice but i see nothing wrong with a mom working outside of the home!!!!
Beauty pageants: WRONG? I don’t like the idea of little kids competing against each other… when we are trying to teach them it’s whats on the inside that matters more… Especially if they are FORCED into it.. if they WANT TOO then let em:)
Bottlefeeding: RIGHT some mothers CAN”T breastfeed, others choose not too.. it’s a personal choice… yeah they say ****** feeding is better but it’s not if the mother is uncomfortable with doing it… and it won’t benefit the child if the momma is not happy doing it
Teaching religion: RIGHT If a parent has strong beliefs i see nothing wrong with them teaching their child those beliefs… I do however think that they shouldn’t push it on other children or other parents…. That would be liket elling one parent they aren’t doing it right!!! LOL You ask GREAT questions I look forward to reading more in the future:)
This is an irrelevant question. Of course they have a right – not only to tell somebody what they think, but also to do as they see fit for their own kids, ignore the words of others, burn a flag…..
If you don’t think people have the right to give their opinions to others, what in the hell are you doing on Y!A? You’re barking up the wrong tree here, pal. That’s the whole point of this site.
And just like with everything else in America – you don’t have to like it. But in this case you do have to accept it, or remove yourself from it. Here’s how to cancel your account:
I do notice since I am new to this Yahoo that there are people who strongly feel that their way is the highway or else. They continually will fight to be right.
They bring out all sorts of information to back up their views and whenever someone disagrees, look out.
Sometimes it looks like they post a question for the sole purpose to cause debates.
I like to just help out with the knowledge that I know from experience.
I studied to be a lactation consultant, have nursed my babies and had every complication out there so I like to help those moms who are having a tough time.
If I can help, it makes my day.
Someone who feels good about themselves really don’t need to put down other’s values right?
Ignore the wierdos, they don’t deserve your time.
It should be all about fun and helping.
I agree with Biz. Here in America, you have the right to suggest anything you want to someone. In turn that person has the right to decide what to do with that advise.
Now when someone comes to an open forum such as Yahoo Q&A, naturally they ask questions, seeking answers. The answers given are usually opinions, sometimes backed up be a source. Many answers are not easy suggestions, however that is what the answerer is suggesting, the asker can do what they want with it.
Aside from Freedom of Speech….NO.