I’m really having a major rant today… I’ve got a little lad who’s just started in my group. Ok, he’s appalling – well, his behaviour is… It’s been that way for years and he’s only just 8 years old. Unbelievable! Well, no it’s not really, because I meet kids like this all the time. It’s what I do… manage the behaviour of those who behave so badly they’re on the point of being kicked out of school for good.
Anyway, this little guy’s behaviour is very bad…
I’m not ranting about this little guy… He’s ok – well he will be before too long…
I’m actually ranting about the adults in this boy’s school and so many other schools I have dealings with! Those adults who’ve allowed this little boy to deteriorate into the awful state he’s now in. They’re dire and dreadful!
Good heavens, what crime have they commited? Well, rather than accept any responsibility themselves they’ve got together and written whining letters to those in a higher position, complaining about this little boy…
What do they want to happen as a result? I don’t know really but I imagine they want him to be taken away and not to darken their doors again…
Hey, Liz, isn’t it fair that they should complain about his behaviour? No, I don’t think it’s fair! How’s that? I keep repeating myself in every workshop sessions, lecture and school visit – children’s behaviour’s an adult issue. Yes, there is appalling behaviour all around but the reason for it is that the adults aren’t managing it properly!
Adults have to accept that they are responsible for children’s behaviour – and those in this boy’s school have allowed him to deteriorate to this point. Whingeing and whining about a situation that adults in general have allowed to get worse and worse, isn’t going to have any beneficial impact, is it?
So, why do children behave so badly? Easy… simply because they can and they also know nobody is going to do very much about it – apart from a fair amount of whining, that is! And that doesn’t do any good, does it?
The only way children’s behaviour will change is if adults evaluate their own behaviour and make some changes to themselves. They won’t see any alterations in children’s behaviour unless this happens.
In short adults, you must get a grip! You may not know what to do but the answer is pretty straight forward. Learn what you have to do to manage children’s behaviour and start to do what an adult should do… manage kid’s behaviour!
A fairly short rant. Rant now over.
Liz Marsden is a widely experienced and successful child behaviour management expert. She uses her expertise to train teachers, students and parents to manage children’s challenging behaviour. Visit Liz’s website where you can download her widely recommended book and learn about her behaviour management strategies that are seen to work time after time.
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